graze

It was your hand on my leg
Gently grazing against my knee
Uncertain but still forceful
That propelled my head to lean against your back
And my chest to push a little further into you.
I wanted to wrap my arms around you
An unspoken declaration of the affection I so desperately sought
But thought better of it and instead watched you take long drags of your cigarette
And exhale the heavy smoke into the chill night air.
You had limited yourself to two cigarettes a night
I had limited myself to you.
We didn’t speak,
Instead we swayed as one
Along to the sounds that poured from the boombox perched on the windowsill
The indie alternative folk permeating our souls mixing with the sounds of the world outside.
There were drunken screams and rock music and car horns but we heard nothing except the lead singer’s soft painful laments
And our breathing that had grown fast and labored with anticipation.
You moved, adjusting yourself on my lap, and I moved with you
Meeting you moment by moment
So that you would finally understand that you were not alone
And we were meant to meld into one.
The morning came easy that night
The sun mixing with the darkness
Creating a sky of purples and pinks and blues
Its pale yellow rays
Peaking over the hilltops in the distance
Still covered with snow, remnants of late season storms.
It found us together
Under blankets of wool and layers of deceit
Pressed close together under the guise of warmth
It had been cold that night
But with you pressed against my back I felt nothing
Just the electricity generated every time you grazed against me.